I'll be on first name terms with these?

I get blamed for all the crashes now?

Going for physio?

REEFA UNIVERSITY

Reefa University
Honours Degree

Reefa University is proud to award Michael Kendal a P.H.D (potentially harmful drugs) in the following areas

Pot Smoking A*

Joint Building A*

Roach Making A*
out of little yellow
Metro cards

Taxi Operating U (ungraded due to being smashed off his tits)

Kenny White (Kenneth)

I really don't know where to start,there is nothing not funny about this story,it has also been kept in(not the closet) the dark for upto 3 years(2 or 3) (the story is nothing to be proud of)Let's start at the verry beginning..........................................Young Kenny,gets a flag at South Rd(Waterloo) A big ginger(beer) haired fella,says take me to Gion Rd Litherland.Take's him their and the guy says"look mate I've got to go in for the money" Kenny susses the place out and says hurry up then mate...........The guy then appears with 2 can's of long life beer in his hands...............And says"here's your money,do you want to come in for a drink"...........Kennys words(I hadn't seen long life larger for ages so it was the end of the night so I was tempted)(I wouldn't)so he has a beer with the guy,who sit's opposite,as they are talking,the guy starts to unbutton his shirt(flirting) and starts to touch his nipples,at tis point Ken gets the drift and says "listen i'm off.alright"at this point the guy stands up ad says"don't go,you said you like the SOPRANOS ,above Ken was a shelf of DVD'S .Then the guy does a stupid fall (how did that happen)and lands on top of ken,Ken push's the crank off,and in a wild fit looks around for something to hit the guy with(something heavy)then in a second breath,get's the fuck out of their?as he escapes unharmed he thinks,what if i hit him in the head with something heavy,and killed the guy,what would the papers of said?????????????? ............................................................ UPDATE..........Upon telling his mrs this scarey story she asks what we all want to know "what the f*** were you doing going into a stangers house for a drink"?

VIRUS AND SPY ATTACKS

THELAST FEW WEEKS MY PC HAS BEEN LAID UP A BIT,RUNNING SLOW,COPYING DVD'S TOOK FOREVER,IM GOING TO TAKE YOU'S THROUGH THE PROCEDURE OF SORTING OUT YOUR PC?http://www.download.com/3000-2144-10045910.htmltry this for free Ad-aware?Also spybot works with this some find some that the other miss's http://www.download.com/Spybot-Search-Destroy/3000-8022_4-10401314.html As well as using windows firewall (sp2 only) zonealarm will work with it alsohttp://www.download.com/3000-2092-10039884.html finally you need an anti virus cheacker http://www.grisoft.com/doc/40/lng/ww All these are free and as good as the stuff you pay for so be safe?

Saw this in BOOTS reminded me os someone?cant think who?

Our mate Jay only dyed his hair for his Wedding?

Jeff Ready printed this.Luke was impressed except for the K.N.A.L. coz he did 3 years in collage!

ALFIE MONFA

MY DAYMAN AND MATE ALF RETIRED TODAY....................................................I'M GOING TO MISS THAT GUY..................................................WHEN I GOT IN THAT CAB,IT WOULD ALWAYS BE SPOTLESS AND TANKED UP PROPLEY....................I HAVE NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR THE GUY.....................TAKE CARE ALF AND ENJOY THE RETIREMENT,YOU DESERVE IT.

Taxi News

Our mate Albi got coughed taking 6 people to town,he took the bait of getting offered 30 quid,the hackney police nabbed him as he was dropping off,told him to report to the Liverpool hackney office,when doing so,he got his legs severely slapped,putting him on probation for 18 months........ Then young Danny Bolton gets collared picking up in town by Liverpool hackney. ......................... Billy 80 has a crash on Gorsey Lane ,his fault,then goes on holiday while his cabs getting fixed(he should have more crashes).........Now for the bad news. Gary the Kirby Kidda is leaving us,going back on the private hire! I'll miss that lad,he was pure class!

Luke

IM sure this story has been twisted to be funnier but here goes, I hear Luke was in metros office about to go on holiday to his caravan in Spain,people were saying Luke shouldn't you be going?When he eventually left I heard Peggy's father drove them,who is 77 years old,there was a bit of road works and diversions,but when they got to Blackpool instead of Manchester things got a bit worrying. Eventually when they got to Manchester the flight had already boarded,but Luke was insisting to be let on,saying he was going to sue them,the girl tells him you are too late,the best I can do is give you a free flight in the morning. Free sas Luke I've already paid,No you've missed that flight you paid for and I don't have to give you anything.So Luke and Peggy had to stay in the airport overnight but, hey they got there in the end?
UPDATE
----------
Spoke to Luke,said he's not telling what really happened coz as ye know(famouse quote here)(the truth is nowere near as funny).................................(thats my line by the way)

News

Hiya people,I got in touch with my solicitors today about the letter of liability I received yesterday,and he told me it was nothing to worry about,just the other police man in the passenger seat trying it on,and him not being able to enjoy his holiday in Corfu?What can I say,my heart bleeds for the guy,and as for-I) Failed to head or act upon the red traffic signal- ii) Drove to fast- iii) Failed to allow precedence to the other vehicle which was traveling through a green light- iv) Failed to act upon the warning lights and sirensof the police vehicle- v) Failed to take any adequate care for the safety of the claimant, thus exposing him to a foreseeable risk of injury. ------WHAT-------- I didn't realize I was such a knobhead ? I'll drive more safely in the future officer,Honest? Maybe the two police guys don't get on with each other and they are both claiming of each other?

Whats going on?

Was it my fault?

YISSSSS

I dont know how to say this but?...................................YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS? what a weight off my chest, i can feel a holliday coming onn!

This is what the looked like when we left him?

I'm deaf and dumd but i'll show you the way?slater lid?

DEAF AND DUMD GUY??????????

This is how it goes,a deaf guy flagged me the other side of Yates,nothing wrong with stopping for deaf people?So the young guy gives me sighns for pen and paper, to which I oblige! He writes down something that I cat read?So I look him in the face so that he can lip read and say,that is shit?start's again ?The same?(What do you Do with a deaf and dumd pissed guy)It's easy to say drag him out?In the mean time Steven 49 pulled up and was asking if I was OK,as well as Elton John,who said" do ye want him out" (before he knew he was d&d) (and he looked about 6 stone) then Billy 80 says "ca you bring him around to Marsh Lane Police Station" thinking that he's had a word, I drive round,Billy's on the phone of the police door(IT'S CLOSED AFTER 11PM)I have a word with the guy he tells me,police stations closed,my nearest is Stanley Road (Kirkdale) or Walton Lane!In the mean time I get pissed off and decide to drag the lad out my cab so he's the police problem,on doing this the lad crosses his legs,puts his head forward and goes asleep!Upon driving away I get a guilty conscience,and go back,then lucky enough a police car pulls up, I got out tell them the script and they say fine,leave him with us??????????

WONT PASS A TEST

One of our good drivers showed me this,thats a big hole?

REAL THING

This is the real thing,but in the dark?

JARG

Our mate Jay(68) got had off with a jarg 20,nothing wrong with that,had a look at it myself,it was good,(i would of took it)?Watermark was shit?

DAVID McCANN 4TH TIME NOW.As well as knobing off his best friend for cash,the loser tested out bathes in TASKERS DIY and got asked to leave the shop?

If someone wrongs you,and you need to tell the world,it would be good if you could,spell?

If it's a hot day or you just had a new 3 piece suite,just dump your old couch in the street like they do in Horby Road!

Wierd? I hope Merseyside Police got one of these as well?

Our mate Joe Scully sends us another piece of class!

NEWS UPDATE

Bit of sad news to start off with,the guy who went from Strand House to the IONA club (IRENE'S HUSBAND) passed away last week,so we wont be sitting on that job anymore?News has it that Delta have got permission to set up in Bootle Village,(is that a bad thing?)but besides that?

Spotted this on Jolls,any idea's whats going on here,is it for tramps scouse?you tell me.

Watchin you?

Away on holl's i had to try it?

Bash and Scott

NOT GOOD?

A finger and a toe have been had off,from the office,cunt's will take anything these days?

KIDS DAY OUT

IT APPEARS THEIR IS NO KIDS DAY OUT THIS YEAR BECAUSE SOMEONE STOLE ALL THE MONEY? I'M NOT IN THE POSITION TO NAME THIS GUY,BECAUSE I'D BE LIABLE BUT IF ANYONE ELSE DOES, THEN IT'S UP TO THEM,BUT I'VE HEARD HE'S ADMITTED IT AND HAS AGREED TO PAY BACK 1400 POUND,AND THERE IS A MEETING NEXT TUESDAY ABOUT HIM WHICH I CANNOT ATTEND AS I'M AWAY ON JOLLYS,SO LET US KNOW THE OUTCOME? SLATER LIDS.
UPDATE.
I've heard,the new committee has hit him with another forfeit?Pay back 3 grand or we'll involve the police,giving him 30 day's or something,this is all well and done but? Can we see the bank details before we cast any stones, has he ripped off the money or was it incompetence? Because the later is not a crime,give me your views and evidence if any coz I did hear that the last committee fell out and they don't talk anymore,but does that lay the blame on the last man standing?????????My last point is,has anyone confronted the guy and said"there is a lot of unanswered questions,can you help me?"
UPDATE.
I was misled,it appears the Bastard,stole the money and has since paid back 2.600 pound back not the 3000 they were after and the Bastard has since left,sold his cab and plate and gone on the private hire,dont come back now-ye hear.

Proof that Eltons on Crack,He open's his boot,lifts his petrol cap out the waythen put's 2 quid's worth in the neck.......?

Eltons cab

Eltons cab went on fire,I think it was by the ball hall,linacre rd,I believe it was well funny that there was smoke everywhere and Elton got out his cab with a black face,took his glass's off and had two white circels round his eye's,it appears that the under weight lad has never owned a motor b4 and filled it up with oil rite to the top,crack sounds shit to me,or am I being opinionated,we can say what we want about Elton coz he's never going to have a PC,is he?(he'd sell it for crack)

I think you can get the jist of this letter.

Elton wrote this out.

Who would wear a pair of shoes that would make footprints for scoobydoo?

Hey,3 for a fiver these homosexual vests!

Roger Dees

I went to work on a hot day wearing a top quality England trainig top and got ripped to fuck?

Two stripe lace upps.

Two stripe slipp onns.

TWO STRIPES

A new fashion has started at Metro Cabs, Trainers with 2 stripes,I've got pics of two metro drivers wearing them,if you's see any more,send me the pics,

Mad Mick,words fail me now?bought them trainers in (FLORIDA)...............(get off my cab you retard)

What's going on,i ask ye?

News Update

Last wed(I think) I got called into Maghull Police Station to give a statement of what happened .Like I fucked a police car and my passengers ,as ye do ? July 17 i'l be awol, got paid 4 lst bump,

Walshy's day man(the African Grey) had a bit of dammage to the underside of his cab?

Postman Pat's Van is back on the road(does some damage this)9To be continued)

This pic may be poor but a fox stopped and looked at me on Gorsey Lane!

PT3

CURRICULUM VITAE

NAME: Ricky Dewsbury (Goonerman)
ADDRESS: 3 Walton hall avenue
Liverpool
L4 6UD
TELEPHONE: 0151 523 1014
07958306047
DATE OF BIRTH: 01/07/1979

EDUCATION: 1994 – 1996
Betic training unit 10 & 11
Millers bridge
Bootle
1991 – 1994
Home tuition centre
Gorsey lane
Formby
1990 – 1991
St George of England
High school
Fernhill road
Bootle( Expelled for being analed by Mr Bumsworth the Geography teacher)
QUALIFICATIONS: City & guilds foundation level numeracy
City & guilds foundation level communication
Merseyside in shore rescue training Basic introduction to first aid
Merseyside open college federation basic english programme




EMPLOYEMENT: 1995 – 2001
Astroquest Ltd
Orell mount
Bootle
L20
0151 922 680

Company Astroquest Ltd closed in 2001 due to no work.
During my employment with Astroquest Ltd I was a brake bounder using a large selection of equipment and machinery. These included shot blasting machinery.

2002 – 2004
A&B Engines Ltd
Orell mount
Bootle
L20
0151 922 3352

Company A&B Engines took over Astroquest Ltd in 2002
re-employed by new owners. Laid off on the 9th of July due to no work.
At A&B Engines Ltd I was a delivery driver. Delivering necessary parts to relevant places using a company van.

PERSONAL STATEMENT: I have gained a number of understandings through schooling and employment. Employment has played a big part for me as I really enjoy doing the necessary work. I am hard working and reliable. I work well within a team or on my own.
REFERENCE:
Richard Beebly
A&B Engines Ltd
Orell Mount
Bootle
L20
0151 922 3352

PT2

The Wetherby Hillbillies


On the taxi drivers, racing day out to Thirsk, we where all amused by the Clampet stile antics of Mr+Mrs Stretch on the way home from Wetherby. Smooching on the coach, slobbering pizza on the coach but best of all having a big fight and then going there separate ways. This next song is a tribute to their antics so stay tuned for the Wetherby Hillbillies.

Now, let me tell you story ‘bout a man name stretch
A poor taxi driver but he kept his family fed
Then one night he’s in the chippy for some food
And off fucked his bird on another booze cruise

Baccy that is, golden Virginia!

Next thing ye know young stretch says to Clare
I ain’t makin money from me petty taxi fare
They say down the Carlton is the place you want to be
For the lot’in loot’in sellin of your packs of L an B!!!
Don’t come back now D’ye hear!

Did some favours in his time?

He talks a good fight?

Crash Test Dummy

This is my new name and Alex takes the credit,Thanx,(i think)

Jack the Kipper

For those of you who don't know who this guy is (Jack the Kipper) he usually flag's around Marsh Ln,Stanley Rd area (after just been the chippy) he tells you he wants to go to Tower Hill (Kirby) then slips into a coma, I was watching the weirdo falling asleep as he has eating,now that's not good is it?Getting him out the cab is a different matter?The guy is almost impossible to wake up,then,while he is awake,you have to strike fast coz he'll fall back asleep within seconds,if you give him the chance,now it's not that bad,I know where he lives,Left into Windomere Dr, left again and the second house on the left,he owes me two quid by the way,he's not a fare to stop for on a busy weekend but midweek,and you've got a bit of time?

Jack the Kipper in his usuall state?

Someone said this is Dave and their kid after the match?

Eggsvill's mishap!!!!!!

I don't know the full story yet but this is for starters,Eggy went down to London to buy a cab(green TX1) to put it trough its plate he had to get the windows etched with the reg of the vehicle,after it was done the guy told him that there was glass dust every where and to go and wash it off,upon doing this with a jet wash,the back window smashed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that's not funny is it?
UPDATE
Spoke to Eggsville,like i said but,he only started on the foam when the window went through????????

NEWS UPDATE

Just like to say welcome back to Cheddar and Booie also like to thank LTI for the TX1,thats 2 full front impacts that i've had and walked away with minor injuries!Thanx Again..........

Full front ender.

On my way to pic my Mrs up i saw my cab on the back of a pickup truck?

Going past the next day there was a bit of damage?

side view

Minor damage

Postman's cab in daylight!

Our mate Alf had a minor bump,pulled out on a wagon,no one hurt,forget about this?