David Kinder

Someone told Dave about the new phone service where you can send a text message to a land line,this set the cogs turning,so Dave decides to play a prank on his Mrs,so he starts by "Hello my name is so and so,I'm a lesbian and I'd love to etc etc"but after he sent the message,Dave realized he'd sent it to his................................NAN...........................So he shot round their and says "anything happened" and his Nan replies "no why" Dave shrugs it all off by now and says "no nothing ,nothing" but he said,you could tell she got the call.....?

EMAIL OFF CHARLEY CHESWICK

Inbox
Hi Charley Cheswick here again, I believe you robbing taxi drivers have got a meter rise today. baldy fred said don't put mine up 20p put it up £20 and then grins with his ridiculous thunderbird bady face. Fred a word of advice your jokes aren't funny, your not funny, and your theiving of the public is not funny. The only reason people laugh at you is because you look like the baddie off the thunderbirds. oh yeah and you've got a bum bag. (tit)Did you also know that young Snellgrove had a mental black out on Sunday morning and is still recovering family and friends where quite worried yesterday but I can't help but to see the funny side. He started hearing voices in his head like that Derick ghost fella. So if you want to speak to any dead relatives crack Snelly on the head and watch him freak out again and then spill the beans on where your grandads fortune is

Luke's Crash

Luke had an arse ender the other day (lucky bastard) the admitted liability,might as well just have booked a holiday for him?

Mother Of The Year Award

Another gem from Joe Scully,I take it the letters wtf stand for WHAT THE F**K?

Elton John has yellow one in Huyton

Elton has a full blown kickoff in Huyton(not posh round their)but nobody's interested any way,they obviously spotted that he was a crackhead,and told him so,.................If it was any of the lads,cab's would be teararseing down Queens Drive,but at the time,I was talking to big Bob at the side of my cab,who lives in Huyton and told me,if you live in Huyton and you pay for your cab,everyone thinks that you are gay,and you get bullied for the rest of your life?What can I say to that?

January 2006

New year new look blog!(too narrow)xmass didn't go too good with the sad loss of our mate Jimmy Sinnott,great turnout for his funeral,our thoughts go out for his Mrs,Chris,and his family.So lets look forward to the new year,Mystic Meg has already told us First Contact and England winning the world cup,pity she couldn't see one of her eyes bogging out,the stupid fucking cow.Pete Burns going into the Big Brother House(for our continental readers,Pete is not a typical scoucer) He's a bitch (funny though).
Loads of new keep fit DVD's came out for the new year,so hears my new year get fit scam,eat less and exercise more you fat bastards(get my drift)

Jimmy Synnott's Funeral

Luke got hold of some footage of Jim's funeral going past our office and up Hawthorn Rd.

Jimmy Synnott's Goodbye

SERVICE AND CREMATION AT THORNTON CREMATORIUM ON THURSDAY JANUARY 5 AT 2.PM

Something TO Look Forward Too

2006
What Mystic Meg predicts for 2006
TEARS, CHEERS AND ALIENS
BY MYSTIC MEG
STARGAZER Mystic Meg has been peeking into her crystal ball—and she promises some major surprises in the New Year.
She can see aliens making contact, a royal wedding, a royal engagement and a new island coming out of the sea. Here's what she predicts for 2006...
because Jupiter in Scorpio will protect and give luck to the England team. Scorpio Wayne Rooney scores and remains injury-free and while Libra Peter Crouch may come on for only 10 minutes he'll score a winner.

We'll have at Easter, then a scorching summer that lasts until November in Britain. But in the US George Bush gets snowed in—during the summer—and starts to take the environment more seriously.
will be lovers in 2006 and for ever, as Meg reveals they've been together in five past lives.
TONY BLAIR writes a farewell speech as Venus makes this his year of changes. But there's a rival for Gordon Brown and rows behind closed doors.
ALIENS transmit from their planet to ours, proving that there is life out there.


Extensions for stubby fingers and jabs to plump up scrawny hands are the new crazes in 2006.

ISLAND appears out of the sea near Australia.

PASSION all year. Watch out for Britney Spears and Kate Moss who both have new relationships.
A lost DICKENS story found in a Victorian desk in Huddersfield is a publishing smash.

A POLITE MESSAGE TO SEFTON CAB USERS

FUCKING WALK HOME NEXT YEAR,YOU FUCKING LOSERS,I WORKED MY BALLS OFF "NEW YEARS EVE" YES THAT'S RITE,"NEW YEARS EVE" GOING THROUGH TO NEW YEARS MORNING, DID I GET THANKED, DID I FUCK, I GOT ABUSED, I WAS GOING TO HAVE A FIGHT AT ONE POINT,NEVER AGAIN,WHEN YOU HEAR PEOPLE SAYING THEY CANT GET A CAB NEW YEARS EVE.................................WONDER WHY..........ONE PRICK WHO KICKED OFF THAT I TOOK HIM THE LONG WAY ROUND EVEN HAD A PRIVATE HIRE CAR PARKED OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE,I TRIED TO EDUCATE HIM(AND HIS MRS) TO NO AVAIL.(30LONGFELLOW ST)