Ban Ban kidnaps Rod

Rod from the Square(no longer on the cabs)was tanking up at the Burmah,(this was a few years ago now)sees this little(big)old lady(Ban Ban)struggling with her bags and offers to take her home,(flat on the corner of Staley St,I think)opening the door for her she shuffles him in and shuts the door behind her and locks it with a key!Getting scary in it?....................So Rod says" listen I've got to go here,my cabs outside with all my money in it"Ban Ban says"they all say that and they never come back"at this point Rod begins to panic,looking round the room,its a tip,cloths and crap thrown everywhere,but that's not all,rabbits running all round the place,rabbit shit all over the place,the smell was..................Then out of the blue Ban Ban says "your gorgeous"(this the same Rod) then proceeds to take her top off. Being a very scary person in the first place,now Rod notices a very flat chest,a man like chest,also a lot of cigarette burns on its body,so the warning bells in Rods head said GET THE FUCK OUT OF THEIR so rod says "can I use your toilet" and walks out the room into the bathroom but,SHIT,the window is nailed down,also its covered in cobwebs with loads of insects in them,Rod was now thinking of smashing the window and climbing out,he walks out the bathroom into the next room,the bedroom(ahhhhhhhh)the bottom window was also nailed down,but the top small one wasn't,so Rod climbs out and makes his escape,ripping his coat on the way......
I've heard he went straight round the Elf garage and told all the lads the story,and everyone says its true coz he looked the color of boiled shite.....................