seftontaxis

I'm off as well...

2007-04-15T22:33:00.000+01:00

Everyone else was getting off so,so am i,i've now moved to www.seftontaxis.wordpress.com

Duncan Macleod...Raise Your Sword

2007-04-10T02:13:00.000+01:00

I just watched " THE SOURCE" if you watched all the the "Highlander" movies then this is for you,nothing new,but still good,if you like that sort of thing?(i was kinda like waiting for Sean Connery to pay a visit) i loved it!

Wreckless Eric

2007-04-09T03:03:00.000+01:00

This guy isent even a one hit wonder,a product off sftiff records who let the lad down big time? Although he got sent to the U.S.A.and had a model girlfriend,got free bars and free food,no money acually got put in this lads hand?now in his late 40's or early 50's this guy is an ex alcaholic,been in the nut house,buts still giging and making ends meet!

Little Shits

2007-04-04T23:25:00.001+01:00

Due to little shit's throwing stones at our windows i've been forced to set up a webcam upstairs with a motions censor,works quite well i think?

PISSED OFF BIG TIME

2007-04-02T00:55:00.000+01:00

This was my dream car,i remember seeing one and saying that car's fucking sexy,if i could only have one!I get one...whats it been.....fucking eight weeks or so and some fucking idiot fucking hits me,and to make matters worse the fucking stupid insurance company says it might be 50-50,my heads up my arse,i'm pissed off to say the least.WHAT'S THE GOOD NEW'S...................................................????????????????????

My Best Ever Nutter (up to now)

2007-03-26T00:26:00.000+01:00

I got a flag on Marsh Lane by the Jollys,2 young lads,1 Say's "he wants to go to Fazacerley Hospital,Stoddard House,you'll get paid when you get their,but can you drop me off on Sefton Road on the way (it's not on the way) so i say "whats with the get paid when we get their,I've never heard that b4" so the other one Say's "it's cool mate,you get paid out of my account when we get their" so when I'm driving down Sefton Road one of them says "just here mate" so next thing they start hugging each other and give a goodbye KISS,so while I'm waiting to carry on with the journey i think to myself...watch which house he goes into to i can call back if i don't get paid,so the lad's walking forever so i have to pull away,but keeping an eye on him in my mirror,then as i turn right,the lad thinks I'm out of sight,he stops dead and does an about turn,so i pulled over and said to the guy still in the cab"listen lad,you've got to get out,this isn't good your mate's just done an about turn their so he doesn't want me to know were he lives".
So the lad assures me,"promise ye mate you'll get paid"....so arriving at Stoddard house.9.60 on the meter the lad says "hang on here mate and I'll get you the money" so i say "nar hang on a min lad,I'll go in with you".....so worse was to come,we went to reception and said "my name's so and so,I've just been released from Marsh Lane Police Station to report back here,I'm being charged with attempted murder" my jaw nearly hit the floor,i got paid eventually but i was sure glad to be out of that place........

This Is Robbie The Rat

2007-03-20T23:51:00.000Z

They call him the rat for a reason,he earned this name,he is also known as "lower than a snake's belly"he had a regular fare who happened to be blind who he used to do messages for, but got knobed off coz she said he was a JANGLER,anyway,Snell gets the job,give's her her stuff then she hands him a 20 pound note,so Snells made up with this,then she says "hold on Robbie told me the fare's have gone up heres another fiver "....THE FARES NEVER WENT UP.....SHAME ON YOU RAT..........................

METRO"S FINEST

2007-03-20T23:34:00.000Z

Young Phil,one of Metro's finest operators was asking the lads if they knew how to get a stuck CD out of a car stereo,got no replies till his cousin Dave said "gis a look",put the stereo on pressed the eject button and the CD came out,"what were you pressing "so Phil pointed to the button he was pressing that had AC on it (AIR CONDITIONING) no wonder the CD wouldn't come out...........................

Total Disrespect For Law

2007-03-20T23:21:00.000Z

The View-Same Jeans(sorry i had to)

2007-03-19T02:18:00.000Z

You Watch What.......

2007-03-19T00:36:00.000Z

Because of my job,i don't see much of everyday TV,so what i do is get into a TV serial and download the complete series,then i can watch an episode when i get in from work,most of these shows are shown in the USA many weeks b4 we get them,i was hooked on Invasion,but in the USA they show about 12 episodes then take a break for about 3 months(why do they do that) then the big let down,it was supposed to go to series 2 but got cancelled ........AHHHHHHH

Heroes,this is x-men type of stuff,starts off a bit slow,introducing characters and how they develop their power,but it is way past cool !

Then Lost,episode 1 was great the special effects were out of this world,(a cyber Friend is into it big time)series 1 went cool,series 2 told you a lot more,then series 3,still no better off,I'm losing heart with this now!

Supernatural,is cool but you don't really have to watch them in order,about 2 ghost buster brothers,searching for the demon that killed their mother.

Now finally what I've got into big time is Day Break,it's about a guy relives the same day(like groundhog day)who has been framed for murder and takes different paths each day to try and see who framed him?

Their may be more but you's may think i'm a serial killer lol.(thank you for watching?)

Snellgrove's New Story

2007-03-14T00:31:00.000Z

Those of you who don't know Snelly,he's a lovely lad,do you a good turn b4 he'd do you a bad 1,but he is known to go on a bit,let's say he got blessed with the gift of the gab...........His Mrs once asked one of the lad's "ye know when he goes out to work,does he chat shit all night"(you know him only too well Paula)anyway,a young lad flags him down,the lad had been involved in a fight and was bleeding from a cut above his eye,and wants to go to Hatton Hill Rd,so Snell says to him "listen lad,I'll take you home but i don't want blood all over my cab,I'm trying to earn a living here" so he gives the lad some kitchen roll and says"hold this on the cut,apply some pressure on it and try to stop it bleeding,let me know when you need more tissue,just keep it pressed hard,and when you get home,wash it with some sterile water and put some Vaseline on it to try and stop the blood flow,if that doesn't work,you may have to go to hospital and get it glued or stitched or something"in the mean time the lad stars saying "Arrrrrrrrrr,it's killing me"...."just keep wiping it,do you need anymore tissue" the lad says are we nearly their yet?so Snell tells him"nearly,were by the old Secrets"the lad says"pull over here,how much do i owe you""3.80" "here's a fiver,keep the f***ing change lar,you've done my f***ing head in ".....Not so much as a thanx........
(not to mention his chance to meet an iternational football player)

Thought For The Day

2007-03-08T17:44:00.000Z

Davey crackhead's thought for the day was,
"you know the way moth's fly towards bulbs,if they like the light so mutch,why dont they come out in the daytime?"
John the dude's thought was,
"Dave's got a head like a bulb,but no moth's fly round it coz he's not too bright"
What can i say?

My Top 10

2007-03-01T08:42:00.000Z

1: The Damned-Smash It Up. (my favourite song of all time long intro then the quick change of tempo)
2:The Undertones Teenage Kicks. (a masterpiece)
3:Oasis-Stop Crying Your Heart Out.
4:Eric Clapton-Tears In Heaven.
5:Pigbag-Papa's Got A Brand New Pigbag. (didnt need words,)
6:Devo-Mongoloid. 7:The Ramones-R.A.M.O.N.E.S. (they played this at their last gig with Lemmy from Moterhead)
8:Green Day-Blitzkrieg Bop.( Ramones cover,but i think they pulled it off)
9:Led Zeplin-Stairway To Heaven. (Timeless classic,our Tracy plays this boss on the guitar)
10:Queen-It's A Kind of Magic. (Loved this song and the film Highlander.)
And that's it,so much more,Sex Pistols,The Cramps,Eighties Matchbox B-line Disaster,The Mighty Wah,Buzzcocks,Clash,Trex, BowieTalking heads could have made it my 20 easily.
So now i'll tag
Jingo
Byronb

Wierd

2007-02-26T02:02:00.000Z

Taxi drivers,you know the woman,(a few fries short of a happy meal)takes the dog everywhere (nothing wrong with that) beautiful dog,pedigree and all that............This got to me,big time,..............she asked me to stop at "KFC",not a problem mid week night,asked if I'd hold the dogs leed,still no problem,waited about 10 Min's when she came back out and started to talk to the dog about what she just bought him.............................................I was.............takin back a bit to hear her say "look what i just bought you"...................so i had to say...."have you just went to KFC for your dog" she said "no.....not just for him,me as well"then she let me know "my husband buys him steak and kidney pies out the chippy"............is this just me or is it very bad to feed a dog good food,is this the way i was brought up?Would you feed a pig strawberrys?i think this is very wrong,you might like to treat your pets like humans,but they're not.full stop.

Guna Got Egged

2007-02-23T09:04:00.000Z

This was one of the funniest things I'd seen for a long time,Gunaman was driving down Linacre Road with his window down,kids threw an egg at him and it splattered on his chest,i was trying to get a photo but the lad wasn't in a very good mood,he called me some terrible names,things i couldn't repeat,lucky I'm not easily offended lol,i think he even threatened me with violence at one time!
I had to tell him "it could have been worse,it could have happened to me".

Murder at Smeaton Street

2007-02-19T00:17:00.000Z

I don't know if this is a wind up and its not funny if a person's dead but.........Bravo10 said............he was with a guy (who was a regular customer of ours) the guy went into his house then came out looking a bit shocked and asked the driver if he would go into the house and be a witness of a murder scene,our operator told him to say no and for him to get the police?

I've since had a text message that the guy was stabbed in the house took outside,shot and then took back inside the house to confuse the police...... doesent sound good to me.......i'll let you's know?

BIG H R.I.P.

2007-02-15T08:52:00.000Z

Last night i hear we had the sad loss of big Harry,one of our star operators,Harry was about 7 foot tall and 30 stone and had a large persoallity to match,we'll miss him badley,regards to his loving wife Lynne,kids and grandkids,more details soon.

GREGORY HARRY "BIG H" February 15, 2007 Peacefully in hospital aged 63 years. Dearly loved and devoted husband of Lynn, much loved Dad of Ang and Kevin, dear father-in-law of Tommy and Julie, treasured Grandad of Jack, Harry, Ellie and Jamie, dear brother of Our Kid and Joe. (Goodnight and God Bless, will be sadly missed by all his family and friends.) Service and Cremation at Thornton Crematorium on Friday, February 23 at 12.30 p.m. Family flowers only please, donations if desired for Liverpool North Breatheasy Club c/o David Clegg Independent Funeral Service, 77-79 Bridge Road, Litherland, L21 2PA. Tel: 0151 928 6665.
First appeared on 19 Feb 2007

Tagged

2007-02-11T22:37:00.000Z

I got tagged by Munther for 5 things bloggers don't know about me?

1: I'm an ex smoker,as i was approaching 40 i thought I'd better take better care of myself.

2: I've got a criminal record,at the age of 17 i was arrested and charged with drunk and disorderly.

3: I once got interviewed for a book about the legendarily punk club called Eric's not only was i their at the last night,i got arrested (see 2).

4: I also appeared in I-D mag in the early 80's

5: I have a tattoo of a shark on the inside of my left ankle to cover a swear word i had done in my youth!

Hope this wasn't too disturbing for yous now i tag....

Torquer

Jingoistic

Byronb

Drive Carefully

2007-02-07T02:45:00.000Z

Time Of Your Life(thinking of you mate 64)

2007-02-05T02:39:00.000Z

Sheriff Joe Arpaio

2007-02-04T03:50:00.000Z

To those of you not familiar with Joe Arpaio, he is the Maricopa County Sheriff (Arizona) and he keeps getting elected over and over again.These are some of the reasons why: 1. Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "tent city jail" to save Arizonafrom spending tens of million of dollars on another expensive prison complex. 2. He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. 3. He banned smoking and porno magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but "G" movies. He says:"they're in jail to pay a debt to society not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave." 4. He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on countyand city projects and save taxpayer's money. 5. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination. 6. He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal courtorder that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TVagain but only allows the Disney channel and the weather channel. 7. When asked why the weather channel he replied: "so these morons will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chaingangs." 8. He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don'tcome back." 9. He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on US history thathe pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails inthe first place. 10. With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116degrees just set a new record for June 2nd), the Associated Pressreports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed- wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. On Wednesday,hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were chatting in the tents,where temperatures reached 128 degrees. "This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace," said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go. "It's inhuman." 11. Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. "Criminals should be punishedfor their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for parole, onlyto go out and commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves." 12. Wednesday he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heatin the tents: "It's between 120 to 130 degrees in Iraq and oursoldiers are living in tents too, and they have to walk all day in the sun, wearing full battle gear and get shot at, and they have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"Way to go, Sheriff!If all prisons were like yours, there would be a lot less crime and we would not be in the current position of running out of prison spaces.Sheriff Joe was just re-elected Sheriff in Maricopa County ,Arizona

Neil's Gone (Got Another Job)

2007-02-03T04:17:00.000Z

We have now lost one of our best stars(?)Neil had some great stories and i'm going to miss him now he's left,but he did go out with a bang,i may have to start another blog coz of his many stories,heres his las one and i'll update it when i have time,Young David (gadget)who drives metro 2,was talking to John alpha 8 about vintage planes when Neil walks down the rank and joins them Dave says "i was in the R.A.F. cubs when i was a kid and my dad paid for us to go on a trip where we went up in a vintage cargo plane,it was the trip of a lifetime" then Neil butt's in "my auld fella used to fly them"John an Dave look at each other with a look of disbelief,"yer he used to fly them over the jungle and crash them (WHAT) but they had no engines in them" John getting a bit curious asks "how did he fly them if they had no engines" Neil explains,"he used to get towed into the air then they'd unhook him so he would crash into the jungle (as ye do).............You might think this story is a bit far fetched.......if i had to crash vintage planes I'd opt for the desert or the sea....certainly not the jungle....I'm going to email this to Dave and get his side of the story.

BAD DRIVING

2007-01-30T14:57:00.000Z

CLOCKWORKMARGARET...THE END....

2007-01-27T04:11:00.000Z

It seems the rot set in while their was no drummer so the band are playing next wed in Southport then that's it! good news is our Cath and Jini have already recruited another girl and two lads to start another band and have started working on a cover version of Stevie Wonder's superstition......

Our Cath

2007-01-24T01:05:00.000Z

I love this picture,its a mate of her's course work,she's going to be standing on top of a hill looking down,i'll show the finished result when i get it!

New Car

2007-01-22T01:43:00.000Z

How cool's this,ABS,power stearing,duel airbags,reverse alarm,air con,on board computer,central locking,electric front windows,this is the CAR !(what i dont get is why a cassett player?havent they been defunk for a long time?)

IS BIG BROTHER RACIST

2007-01-19T01:59:00.000Z

Shilpa Shetty,although,i've never heard of her b4,she is a top Bollywood actress(very pretty)and for some unknown reason she's been thrown into a house with ignorant and racist ppl,first i'll say that when Jade Goody's mother said "do you live in a shack or a house"was not racist,just ignorant,the whole family are as thick as pig shit,Jade was once on a chat show and they asked her "Jade where is your favourite holiday destination" she replied"Dubai" and where is that Jade they asked her"err i dunno"then the audience all started laughing she said"i don't need to know where it is,i just go their"...............do i need to say any more?

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GARDEN?

2007-01-18T18:37:00.000Z

Looks like a bomb's hit it!

84 mph winds!

Stalone at Goodison

2007-01-18T15:03:00.000Z

Metro Radio Cabs

2007-01-18T08:57:00.000Z

The lads at metro have been complaing that their hasent been enough addvertising,so whats this then? only in the Bootle Times,and proof the lollie-pop man got his hat back,no pleasing some ppl!

CLOCKWORKMARGARET

2007-01-17T15:36:00.000Z

This is the first picture with the new drummer Tom,far left. click on the pic to enlarge.

CLOCKWORKMARGARET NEW GIG

2007-01-12T03:42:00.000Z

The band have a new gig lined up in Southport,dont know about the dry bar stuff,at least i can take our Tracy.

ROCKY BALBOA

2007-01-08T00:56:00.000Z

I know it doest sound good but I've just watched it and it's boss,all the Rocky fans will love it,it starts of a bit soppy,reminiscing about Adrian who has died a few years ago,and their son who is a bit of a wimp,but it gets better,try it and let me know what you think?

Internet access via pda

2007-01-04T20:30:00.000Z

My daughters got me a wi-fi card for chrissy,so now i'm writing from my cab,it's a bit slow but still cool,i can only leave anon comments but i've still got more stuff to sort out on it,like how to connect to active sync by bluetooth,but getting their i thini?

The Lux

2007-01-03T01:30:00.000Z

After working new year's eve(new years morning) i thought my family(and me) needed spoiling so as well as the sis-in law i took them for a Chinese,it's only about 50 yards away,next to the race coarse,but i drove anyway coz the weather was awful,it was blowing a Gail,it was a long time since we'd been to this place but,it was still lovely inside,and the staff bent over backwards to help us......................................................But,one thing spoilt it,ppl on the next table were smoking.................ye......i know....i used to smoke..........and they say ex smokers are the worst........and ye,..............i can be a moaning old bastard,but it did take the shine off it, and i look forward to July when smoking in public places in banned,i have friends and family who smoke,and when at ours they go out the back garden for 1 or at least stand by the opened back door.................am i going off on one here or what,let me know what you think............and by the way HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YE'S ALL from the Xmas grouch lol.

Waste Of Time Sending Him A Letter

2006-12-26T04:05:00.000Z

Xmas Speach

2006-12-26T03:03:00.000Z

My friends,taxi drivers and members of the public,i think this year went quite well,although it's 1 year since Jimmy Sinnot passed away,and we miss him dearley,Big Les hasent been too good,but he'll get through this,he's a fighter,the lollie-pop man got his hat back,(it was only a joke that backfired) 2 years now since we had a white xmas,the Mrs dad isent at all well,but besides all this we carry on to the new year 2007. Hope you's all had a wonderful xmas,i did(and still am)Take care.

Merry Christmass

2006-12-22T02:42:00.000Z

Hiya all,hope you's all have a F***ING GOOD CHRISTMASS,this may be my last post for a few days.............Stevie64..........looking out for you,hope your mum gets through it!Big Les thinking of you,hope you are ok,and the rest of you's,god bless and have a happy new year if i dont c ye's b4

Xmas..Slade

2006-12-22T02:31:00.000Z

Xmas

2006-12-22T02:25:00.000Z

WHO STOLE THE LOLLIE POP MANS HAT?

2006-12-17T23:47:00.000Z

The local lollie-pop man leav's his stuff in or office...and guess what?some lousey bastard has stole his hat,hang your head in shame whoever you are lad.

Damned Disciples

2006-12-17T23:16:00.000Z

Me and our Cath went to see the The Damned,like we've done for the last three years,Carling Academy again,this year Zombina and the Skellitors were the support band and were nothing short of brilliant,put everyone into a good mood for the main band.
Seamed like hours for the main band to come on but then i noticed it was a bit more full than usuall,the atmosphere was buzzing,the band came on and it was out of this world,this band may have been performing now for 30 years but they have still got it,we got all the old and new,Elloise,new rose,smash it up and little miss....we screamed for more and we got it,looking forward to next year!
The video i recored with my phone isent up to much but i was getting knocked about everywhere,hope it captures the moment?

Damned

2006-12-15T00:54:00.000Z

It was that time of year again?

The Damned 14/12/06

2006-12-15T00:48:00.000Z

piratebay.org

2006-12-12T23:13:00.000Z

http://thepiratebay.org/ it appears people have been making illegal downloads off this site,i've also heard it works well with http://www.shareaza.com/ and if you want to preview your downloads you use http://www.videolan.org/vlc/ all of these progs are free and quick!

CLOCKWORKMARGARET THE DVD

2006-12-12T23:03:00.000Z

Got a dvd of the band at the Barfly,email me if you want a copy!

Mark's Encounter With A Chick

2006-12-12T12:18:00.000Z

Another Tuesday Night Weirdo

2006-12-07T13:39:00.000Z

Tuesday gone Ronnie gets a fare off Yates's rank a few mins into the journey the guy says "floor it" Ronnie said he could tell he was a horrible bastard with a bad attitude so he tells him"this isn't a formula 1 car lad,it's just an auld taxi" so the guy rants on more,"just put your fucking foot down,your driving too slow"so Ron pulls over having listened enough of the guy who was now trying to get out ,but Ron kept his foot on the brake,keeping the doors locked,"let me out" "I wont,pay your taxi fare,then I'll let you out" then it happened the guy did a bull run head first though the door window (which was closed at the time) got up and ran away,Ronnie picks his jaw up off the floor and radio's through for assistance,so a load of taxi drivers are chasing after this guy who's trying his best to get away jumping over garden walls and going through the old school,then someone saw him going into the Arriva Buss Station with his coat wrapped around his arm,the people in the buss station phoned for the police and ambulance coz he was bleeding badly,when they took the coat off his arm a large piece of flesh has hanging on by a thread....
and he was arrested at the hospital and is now out on bail......All for the great sum of three pound fifty on the meter.

I KID YOU NOT

2006-12-05T22:58:00.000Z

One of the lads had a bit of trouble over the weekend,so decided to take the guy the police station,(we were always told,waterloo,copy lane and stanley road were 24 hour police stations) so he decides to take him to w.loo,so on the way the operator says,that may not be a 24 hour police station you may have to take him to copy lane,so another driver was in Waterloo and said he'll cheak it out,it was closed,but their is a phone outside to talk to their deskboard,so he asks "where is the nearest police station in Sefton" and guess what.............................THEIR ISENT ANY.....................ALL POLICE STATIONS IN SEFTON CLOSE AT 10PM............................
WHAT A JOKE
IF YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE,PREPARE TO FIGHT????????????????????????????

LTI Reveal The New TX4

2006-12-04T00:54:00.000Z

Nothing new in the body shape except for the grill,they've cut a section out the bumper to make the grill bigger (wont this mean more impact on the engine on a collision?)
The TX1 was a good sturdy cab,Japanese engine and gearbox,then they brought out the TX2,changed the engine and box to a .............................Ford...........Which was a total bag of crap,I've never heard a noisier engine in my life,then ............The TX4............Am I missing something here,what happened to the TX3?

Tuesday Night Is Nutters Night Out

2006-12-01T02:52:00.000Z

Young Snellgrove told me tonight that he gets nothing but nutters on Tuesdays,he told me he picked the best one up Tuesday gone on Stanley Road and it went like this------------
Nut:Hey mate,if you were sick,would you go to the doctors?
Snell:Ye.
Nut:what's wrong with you?
Snell:Nothing:
Nut:Well what did you go the doctors for then?
Snell:I didn't go the doctors.
Nut:You just told me that if you were sick you'd go the doctors.
Snell:yer I did,but I'm not sick,so I didn't go the doctors.
Nut:your a weirdo you mate,pull over I'm getting out.
..............................................WHAT CAN YOU SAY TO THAT,PURE CLASS............................

Too Much Turkey

2006-11-30T09:38:00.000Z

Take it easy on the Turkey ppl,this is what it does to you?

CRACKPOTS

2006-11-30T08:56:00.000Z

Driving down Knowsley Road (again) I see Snellys cab parked up and slow down to see if he's ok,"Gaz theirs a young girl getting a hiding here" he tells me so I do a uturn park behind him while he sees if the girl is ok,I hadn't even got out my cab when I see a police van opposite so I give a beep to get Snells attention and point to the police van,so,while the police are sorting it out,Snell comes over to tell me what happened,turns out it was just two teenagers having a scrap,then something attracts my attention to my passenger window,a small scrawny smackhead looking guy doing a mongey laugh,"what does the smackhead want" I ask,"dunno"then the walks round"what's happening"he asks,so snell says"a young girls just been battered and someone phoned the police so it's all underhand now"then the guy says "my mate got shot ye know(he mentioned his name but I forgot coz I wasn't interested)".The look on Snells face was a picture as his jaw dropped and said"did he" this started me laughing as I'd met this guy b4 and knew he was a crackpot,"I'll see ye later Gaz"snell tells me and gets in his cab,so the loon starts telling me more crap,"he's a so and so (pointing at Snell)and I've got both your reg's,I know the (gangsters name I've never heard of)they love me" "that's smashin that lad" I tell him as I start to turn my steering wheel to drive away,so I gave the guy a little hand gesture,the police were laughing at him as well.
TO BE UPDATED

CLOCKWORKMARGARET-SHE-REMIX

2006-11-24T09:43:00.000Z

Tony The Tiger

2006-11-22T00:37:00.000Z

This guy is weird,rumors going round he was in a coma once for a few months,anyway,he's a part time driver(got a day job works the cab Thurs- Sun)so Saturday Young Harry the operator blows out anyone handy the office to change a tyre for Tony,he'd already been in the office and said"I've got a flat tyre" and Harry said "so" so we all forgot about him coz nowone likes him any way,the after a while we get the same message "anyone handy the office to change a tyre for Tony" then unbelievable someone offers to do it,came down the office and changed Tony's tyre while he stands their and watches????????I used to be a tyre fitter and I was thinking that he wanted a new tyre fitting onto a rim and was going to offer my helping hand,lucky I didn't,coz if I'd had turned up and saw he only wanted his wheel changing coz he had a flat and didn't want to get his hands dirty I would have had to give him a slap................... That is taking the Piss?

DISHONEST DAY DRIVERS

2006-11-18T04:20:00.000Z

It appears that some of our drivers who do school jobs are not very honest,when the kid(s) off it slips their mind to let the office know.........I think we should name and shame them.....What do you's think?

A BRIGHT SPARK

2006-11-14T20:50:00.000Z

Steven Ready Might be a few things but one thing he's not is an Electrician,doing a bit of DIY wiring,he switched off the mains,took of the face plate of a socket,realized then that he needed his Stanley knife.........But couldednt find it.........So he had to switch the mains back on,found his Stanley knife and started to cut back wires...........THEN ................BBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ,Mains were still on and as he tried to pull away he slashed his thumb with the knife,now this is not funny and shame on any of you that laughed,but when he told his daughter the story,young Emma said,funny you should say that but,I came home the other day and the cat was standing still shaking,so she took the baby out his pram took his coat of and saw to him,then she remembered the cat,looking at him again,he was still in the same spot shaking........So she went over to it............On closer inspection,it had only bit into an electric cable and was getting electrocuted.....LOL.........But its a happy ending the cat made a full recovery......Just lost a few lives?

CLOCKWORKMARGARET WALRUS

2006-11-14T03:57:00.000Z

ClockworkMargaret Update

2006-11-08T01:41:00.000Z

The band have now recruited a new drummer called Tom,they had band practice tonight and all went well,better than thought,so now things are back on the road,gigs coming soon!

Do What You Want

2006-11-06T02:30:00.000Z

Kids just set fire to bins and do what they want,but if you see them and do nothoing they will carry on doing it?

Nine Wierd Things About Me

2006-11-06T00:57:00.000Z

Byronb tagged me for this?
1: I'm not a morning person,i work nights,sometimes getting home at 5am,then i get up at 8.30 to run ppl to work,school,so i'm pretty grumpy in the morning!i'm O.K. after a few more hours kip!
2: I speak my mind,if someone starts telling lies,i'll say "shut up you lying bastard"
3: I'm easily bored,if someone starts telling me a story and it goes on too long i'll sart closing my eyes and nodding my head like i'm falling asleep.
4: If i dont like a person and they start telling me a story i'll ask "is this going to take long"
5: I only wear glasses at night,my eyesight's O.K. in the daytime,it's a bit Clarke Kent,ppl who know me dont recognise me in the cab?
6: i eat with my fork in my right hand,this bothers other ppl more than it bothers me?
7: We have 2 family cat's who hate me,when my mrs opens the back door they run towards her,when i open it they start running then stop in their tracks when they see it's me,i think its down to me trying to catch them when going on holliday and the screaming while im trying to get them into cat box's while their slashing my arms?
8: I love my bed,i try and stay in it as long as i can,i hate it to look girl'y,women always make the bed to look girl'y.
9: cycling,i love rideing my bike,it's my birthday soon and i'm going to tap my mrs 4 a new bike,full suspention... as ye do
So Their's my nine.
I Tag Munther and Khalid

When I Thought It couldn't Get Any Worse

2006-11-04T03:39:00.000Z

I spoke too soon about mischief night,I only got a brick through my window tonight, I saw the little bastards the corner of Grey St and Knowsley Rd, but when I got hit did a u turn to go after them they were gone?

Later on in the night Brian 46 wanted to get a few lads to go into the north park to sort the kids out,his response was dismal,about 3 lads offered to go with him,what are we working with? Is this it? Do we just let the kids walk all over us,next time it may be one of the non volunteers,will they want any help?

I'm Going To Be Rich?

2006-11-03T08:59:00.000Z

From: "susan sumah" <susansumah9@hotmail.fr> Reply-To: susansumahprivate@yahoo.com Subject: FROM MISS SUSAN SUMAH Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2006 11:22:38 +0100 FROM MISS SUSAN SUMAH 521 Cocody Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire West Africa. Hello It is my pleasure to write you after much consideration, since I cannot be able to see you face to face at first. Being the only daughter of my father, late Mr innocent sumah from Sierra-Leone Africa (WA) I am 25 years of age. My father was limited liability Diamond and Gold merchant in Freetown Sierra-Leone before his untimely death. After his business trip to abidjan to nagociate on a Good Investment business he wanted to invest in abidjan. A week after he came back from abidjan , he got an accident with my mother of which my mother died instantly but my father died after five days in a private hospital on that faithful afternoon, I didn?t know that my father was going to leave me after I had lost my mother, but before he gave up the ghost, it was as if he knew he was going to die. He my father, (MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE) he disclosed to me that he deposited sum of $12,000,000,00 US Dollars (Twelve Million Dollars) in a security company here in abidjan That the money was meant for his Diamond and Gold company he wanted to establish in abidjan though, according to my father he deposited the money in a trunk box but declared it as vital family belongings. He single handed me the key of the box and the deposit certificate and instructed me to seek for a reliable and trust worthy business partner for my life time investment abroad. Now I have succeeded in locating the security company here in abidjan also confirmed the items with most honest and confidentiality. Now I am soliciting for your assistance to help me lift this money out from abidjan to your safe account abroad so that we should invest it in any meaningful lucrative business in your country because this is my only hope in life. I am willing to offer you 10% of the total fund if only you can help me out of my present predicament. Awaiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss the modalities of this transaction. I thank you for your understanding while i will be waiting for your immediate response. Yours sincerely. MISS Susan Sumah

This is the first time i'v ever been sent a scam,and to tell you the truth i'm quite pleased,so i've sent them a reply saying how sorry i am she's lost her parents and i'd love to help.......only to try and drag it on LOL.

Mischief Night

2006-10-31T15:01:00.000Z

While i got through last night virtually untouched(got a small metal odject lashed at me also an egg thrown that missed) some drivers wernt as lucky,Steven off 87 got hit with 11 eggs and a large baking potatoe,the police were out in force and did a wonderfull job,but.....operation TROGAN.....the police borrowed a cab,1 driving and 4 in the back and were verry hard to get in touch with,and when they were in touch with our office they said "we're just monitering the situation and when we see anything we'll radio through for unformed police" and by that time the kids were off. So we'll have to wait for a report to see if their was any prossecutions?

The Captin

2006-10-31T09:01:00.000Z

I look forward to picking this guy up,he's so funny,calls you everything under the sun,new drivers throw him out thinking he's trouble but you just have to laugh at him and give him the same back.

No Law

2006-10-29T23:15:00.000Z

Here in Sefton we're wondering if their is any LAW,kids can throw eggs,bricks and their household contents at cabs,I believe police cars get the same,Fire services get called out to a fire,and they get the same,surely someone knows these kids and could tell their parents, or are their parents too pissed up or off their head on drugs to give a shit,it's not only Liverpool,England IT'S EVERYWHERE NOW,Yob Culture is coming to an area near you,and what can you do about it....................NOTHING....................With Human Rights and Policical Correctness,if you take the law into your own hands ,then you are liable to prosecution,if you phone the police you could wait up to 2 hours if their bussy,that's in the day time at night.................................................................Most police stations are CLOSED..................................... YES THAT'S RITE....................................CLOSED,so if you find yourself getting attacked by a YOB (HOODY) be careful not to harm him and ask him to stay calm for a few hours till the ...POLICE...Arrive

The Royle Family

2006-10-29T22:42:00.000Z

Six years this has been off our TV and I missed it like mad,so when they announced their was going to be a one off one hour special I was over the moon,got some beers in waiting to laugh my socks off,and it didn't let me down except for the second half when Nana died,I could have cried my eyes out,but it went funny again,and was well worth the wait,hope a new series is planned for the future?

LITTLE BA***RDS

2006-10-28T15:35:00.000+01:00

Last night i only got hit with 2 eggs?

He Had A New Hairstyle Now He Needs A Bumper

2006-10-25T17:13:00.000+01:00

Another Intresting Snellgrove Fact

2006-10-25T02:03:00.000+01:00

While talking to Snelly i saw he had a Scooby-Doo air freshner hanging from his rear view mirror,so in my best Scooby-Doo voice i said "woooooooooooby-woooooooooooo"then i get the reply,"you know what i couldent understand about Scooby-Doo""what""you know that Scooby could talk quite well(for a dog),how come his young nephew(scrappy) could talk perfect?

Our Tracy's First Recording

2006-10-18T00:51:00.000+01:00

Jay's Magic Taxi

2006-10-17T09:54:00.000+01:00

2006-10-17T09:43:00.000+01:00

Jay's cab was off the road last weekend,the engine blew,so i saw him Monday night and asked if his cab was o.k. "yer,sort of,you'll laugh when you see this" so he tells me that when he puts his headlights on,full beam comes on,and wont go off,then,when you switch the engin off and take the key out..........the engine is still running...........so............you may ask yourself..........how do you get the engine to stop..............by turning the lights off............................LOL.................love it.

Dare(my lookalike lol)

2006-10-16T01:53:00.000+01:00

Mick's Hairsyle Upgrade

2006-10-16T00:47:00.000+01:00

Mad Mick (as he likes to be known) has had an upgrade on his hairstyle,not soon enough some may say,a comb over isn't a good hairstyle,nor is a mullett,a combination of both is a total disaster,I'm not to sure on the quiff though?

Portrait,Clockworkmargaret.the finished thing?

2006-10-15T04:14:00.000+01:00

How Old Is Too Old

2006-10-11T00:53:00.000+01:00

My next birthday,(nov19)i'm going to be 44,obviously i'm not ashamed of that,i'm quite proud!and i played a bit of 5 a side football,(not that i was any good)i had to miss it last week,coz i woz waiting fo a workman to fit a carpet in my loft,talking to the lads that night,they asked why i didnt turn up,then Luke(the fat bastard) says "your not still playing footy at your age"talk about making you feal old?

CLOCKWORKMARGARET NEW SONG

2006-10-09T01:38:00.000+01:00

IF YOU LAUGH

2006-10-09T01:02:00.000+01:00

That Sexist Guy I Know Is Sending More Jokes

2006-10-08T04:20:00.000+01:00

One Of Our Gender Confused Lads

2006-10-07T03:23:00.000+01:00

Barfly-Played Their

2006-10-04T02:26:00.000+01:00

File Share

2006-10-04T01:42:00.000+01:00

Shareaze,limewire,morpheus,kazza the list goes on,we all use em (or do we) what one do you use,i once got told to use emule,no virus's,all movies top quality,ploblem was,slow as fuck.......when you told ppl,who recomenede it ,they'd say"do u think thats slow?"when u download a movie,you want it that day at least?i keep on hearing ,dont use limewire,its full of virus's,same with kazza,but,what if you know what your doing,and you have a good anti virus that will stop any shit entering your pc,we all know its against the law!(but some of us might still do it)with high speed broadband,who's going to know if you download a song in seconds then switch it off,keep it running all day and you could be traced?or could you?

Battered Ex Husbands

2006-10-02T00:34:00.000+01:00

Which driver,who is going through a messy divorce,went into court and said "if i stand here ,she'll attack me again",then got told"we can put you in the witness protection box,then when you are going,we can let you out the staff entrance"what can you say to that?
watch out for scary mary!

DID MY PHONE HAVE A VIRUS?

2006-10-02T00:21:00.000+01:00

I'm currently using a Samsung D500,when i went into ,Menue,Call records,it showed a high number,300 or so,then froze,nthing i could do to un freeze it,then it would reboot,and the same again if i went int call records,so i stoped going into Call Records,but i could hear my phone rebooting all day long,so i went back into,Call Records,5,Delete all,and.........problem solved,phone now has a new lease of life!

Lost Wallet

2006-10-01T23:59:00.000+01:00

I pick up a guy in South Road,Waterloo,he doesent go far,Stuart Road,Waterloo,but i'm glad of any job,i pull back onto Crosby Road South,and get flaged down by 3 student looking lads,who go into Crosby Village,then straight away pick up 4 young girls who want to go into town,so half way into town,the operater stars blowing,any of our drivers pick up South Road went to Stuart Road abou 20 minits ago,so i say,"yer i did that ,but i've had 2 jobs since" so he says,"their isent a wallet in the back of the cab is their?"so i explain that i've had 2 jobs since and i'll ask the girls in the back if there's any sign,they said no,THEN...........my phone starts doing overtime with text messages"lucky bastard""how mutch was in it""jammy twat"and the likes,but,although i laughed and took it as a joke,how many of them thought i had the wallet?what do people really think of me?

Kieren Cought A Pike

2006-10-01T23:50:00.000+01:00

Our John's lad Kieren cought his first pike,put up a good fight though,and was released to get cought another day!

The Damned Again

2006-09-28T09:10:00.000+01:00

CLOCKWORKMARGARET AT THE BARFLY

2006-09-26T02:13:00.000+01:00

I know it's only the second gig,but it never went as planed,they were verry strict on the door about age,so most of their mates being of the average age of 17,never got in,being a bigger club than the Zanzibar,made it look empty,but what can you do?the main band were The Hours,and they are a great band,so they must have been disapointed with the turnout.Good news is,i know a guy who is a reporter for the Liverpool Echo(he's writing a book about the club Eric's,i got interviewed coz i got arrested on the last night...long story!)and he's going to review the band.

Nationall Press

2006-09-25T02:18:00.000+01:00

MOBO AWARDS

2006-09-25T01:39:00.000+01:00

Shit might hit the fan here but if there was MOWO awards,it got me thinking?

THE KRANKIES

2006-09-21T13:55:00.000+01:00

We all remember the not so funny Krankies,a husband and wife duo who played Wee Jimmy Krankie,the naughty school boy and his dad,but young Snellgrove pointed out to me something that got my mind really spinning,if you found yourself lusting after wee jimmy...........Would this make you........

A: GAY

B: STRAIGHT

C: A PEADOPHILE

(or just a krank)makes you think though doesn't it?LOL

The Begger Our Cath's Earlier Work

2006-09-20T00:53:00.000+01:00

YES,Another One

2006-09-18T00:55:00.000+01:00

Sat night (Sun morn) about 3.30 am gets a flag at the New Strand bus stop's,big guy door man size but dressed like a student,he says "Smithithdown Road mate or is that?" but b4 he could finish I said "sound ,that's ok" so off we set,then he says,"I fucked up their ye know mate,I got on the wrong buss and ended up in Bootle" "that's a bit of a downer then init"I reply...The guy goes quiet then and slopes down in his seat,as we are nearly their he says"yer I fucked up their mate I got on the 55 thet used to go to Gatacre (it didn't,its always went through Bootle to the Marion Square),ye know that Stand mate,that's where James Bulger got abducted".I say "ye,I know,I'm from Bootle,I was working on the night he went missing,I helped search for the lad and I followed the case"by this time we were reaching the end of Smithdown Road,so I ask "is it much further lad"THEN............................It HAPPENS..................................He says,"Er,I haven't got any money mate,but,if you've got a pen and paper,you can call back tomorrow and I'll pay you,I live at 25 lowerbridge....."But I didn't let him finish,I said "your taking the piss lad,you should have told me b4 you got in you had no money,youre going to have to give me something"so he says,"I've only got buttons"'no,I mean something valuble like a phone,ring watch or something""well take me to the house and I'll see what I can do"his house was about another 10 miutes drive,when we get their,he says"I'll see if my dad's in............. Then my luck was in he came out with 2 ten pound notes..............There is a god after all.

Young Allan Again

2006-09-18T00:44:00.000+01:00

We all remember Allan,hitting the post by Yate's,well the young lad got arse ended by another driver,with...i hear 4 passengers,sounds like a holliday to me?

Mad Mick Returns

2006-09-13T01:04:00.000+01:00

Young Michael,had been away on holiday for a few weeks(didn't half miss him)so I was having a gab with the lads when he walks over to Jay McCullough and says "alrite,I've got ye a little something from my holls" and he dangles a Canada key ring,but Jay says,"nar,your all rite"I started laughing at this point when I saw Micks face drop,(it must have been bad for him)Jay says"nar ye might as well give it to someone who appreciates it lad,I'd just throw it away"now......I'm at the stage where I need oxygen,I'm laughing so much,Mick says "you ungraitfull bastard,I brought this all the way from Canada and you don't want it"I.........Had to walk away I couldn't take any more,I was getting pains in my sides with laughing,it was so funny,later on,I saw Allan,and told him the story,but he had a funny look on his face,when I finished telling him about the key ring,he reached into his cab,produced the same key ring,dangled it infront of me and said "was it anything like this?" which made the whole story ten times funnier,sending me into a fit of laughter again!
(p.s. both these guys are retards)

Blue Sh***

2006-09-12T13:01:00.000+01:00

Will we ever here the end of it?

CLOCKWORKMARGARET NEW GIG

2006-09-11T03:01:00.000+01:00

BARFLY,Monday 25th September,supporting The Hours!
http:/
Sun 24th Sep
Region Promotions presents
Fevercaine + A Picture A Postcard + Ben Singleton (Idiot Rate)
Loft
Buy Tickets
Mon 25th Sep
Barfly presents
The Hours + Cranebuilders + clockworkmargaret
Loft
Buy Tickets /www.barflyclub.com/whatson/listings.asp?vn=5

2006-09-08T17:56:00.000+01:00